Brief History of Marriage

I found some surprising information here on the history of marriage.
 
"... marriage... was not about the relationship between the man and the woman," said Stephanie Coontz, the author of "Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage," (Penguin Books, 2006). "It was a way of getting in-laws, of making alliances and expanding the family labor force."
 
This getting of in-laws and expanding the family network... does it make any difference who does the proposing? When a man proposes to a woman, he is inviting her into his family, his network. Both men and women can expand their family network with family ties on either side of the union. If a woman proposes to a man, does it automatically mean that she is inviting him into her circle and that that circle is the main family network? Does it make any difference?
 
"... marriage wasn't about equality until about 50 years ago. At that time, women and men had unique rights and responsibilities within marriage. For instance, in the United States, marital rape was legal in many states until the 1970s, and women often could not open credit cards in their own names, Coontz said. Women were entitled to support from their husbands, but didn't have the right to decide on the distribution of community property. And if a wife was injured or killed, a man could sue the responsible party for depriving him of "services around the home," whereas women didn't have the same option, Coontz said."
 
It's interesting that they say marriage wasn't about equality until the last 50 years. I think it's been much sooner than that. Marital rape is a thing now and women can own property, but that doesn't mean that they are suddenly equal to men. There is much more going on. The fact that I'm writing about whether it's socially acceptable for women to propose marriage, and that it's even an issue, says that women are nowhere near being equal to men - at least not in the home.
 
"By about 50 years ago, the notion that men and women had identical obligations within marriage began to take root. Instead of being about unique, gender-based roles, most partners conceived of their unions in terms of flexible divisions of labor, companionship, and mutual sexual attraction."
 
I don't think most partners have this kind of union. There are still traditional gender roles where the man is the head of household and the breadwinner and the woman is the caretaker. Even when the woman works and contributes equally to the money coming into the household, she is still most often expected to be the one in charge of the home.