Marital Rape... are men and women both victims?

 

I don't really want to go down this path too long. Rape, of any kind, is a sensitive issue and it's not the main concern of my research. However, there are some things about marital rape that I think are necessary to discuss.

According to RAINN (Rape Abuse & Incest National Network), marital rape has been illegal in every state and Washington, D.C. since 1993. That's not that long ago. Why did it take so long to make this an issue?

"Marital rape occurs when your spouse forces you to take part in certain sex acts without your consent." This refers to men and women, husbands and wives, but how many marital rape cases involve the men getting raped?

"While every state has its own laws on the subject, broadly defined, marital rape includes “any unwanted intercourse or penetration (vaginal, anal, or oral) obtained by force, threat of force, or when the wife is unable to consent.” 
This definition is specifically talking about the wife. Why? Why isn't this an issue for husbands? Why are women getting raped by their husbands? 

"It was not until the late 1970s that anyone was convicted of raping his spouse in the United States. Before then, criminal codes typically included a “marital rape exemption,” or provision barring prosecution for the rape of one’s spouse. Such laws reflected then popularly held views that only stranger rape constituted “real rape” or that forced sex is a “wifely duty.”

Forced sex is a "wifely duty" - this is one of the most ridiculous statements I've ever heard.

So, what does this all mean? What does this have to do with women proposing to men?

Marital rape is an issue because women are seen as property, as something/someone belonging to the husband. If a wife is a man's property, then the man can do what he pleases with his property since it is his right to do what he wants.
Of course, marital rape does not occur within every marriage, just like not every husband treats his wife like if she is his property. But it is important to understand the history of our society's traditions. The fact that marital rape is an issue, and an issue victimizing only women, indicates that these views aren't so "old" or in the past.

Marriage is preceded by the engagement and the proposal initiates it all.  
If a man proposes to a woman... the man has certain rights, just for being a man, and he becomes the head of the household.
If a woman proposes to a man... would this mean that the woman has certain rights over the man? can she force him to do his "husbandly duty" just because she initiated the marriage?